Shake Off 2021 With Us, and Let’s Lay the Groundwork for a Great New Year
The past two years have been tough on families. That means that they’ve been really tough on moms. We’re tired...tired of the worrying, of all of the extra work to keep our families safe. And all of that extra stuff takes a toll on our mental and physical health. No wonder it’s hard for us moms to get excited about the new year. Are we even trying to make resolutions anymore? At BeauGen, we’re big believers in mastering our mindset. We know that if we put in the time, and the effort, we can make big shifts in our lives. And that means big shifts for our families too.
What is a Mommy Mindset and Why Does It Matter so Much?
Mama, your mindset is your cumulative thoughts and beliefs. These affect or determine how you interact with the world around you, the circumstances that happen to you. For some people, their mindset is fixed and unchanging. Others have mindsets that change over time.
Becoming a mother is a major transformation. Overnight pretty much your whole world changes. All of a sudden, you have a tiny baby who is dependent upon you for everything. The demands on your time, your physical energy, and your physical and emotional health all can shift your mindset.
What is a Mommy Mindset
This is your mindset or thought pattern in regards to your life as a mother. Why is this distinction made? You might be experiencing great joy or success at work and have a positive mindset about your career. Or you might feel good and comfortable in your adult relationships but feel like you're drowning at home when you are alone as a mother. You can in these different situations experience a different mindset.
How Do I Determine What My Mindset is?
Start to key into your thoughts throughout the day. We have an internal monologue, or a constant stream of thoughts that run through our heads. These thoughts form a running conversation with ourselves. The way you treat yourself can show you what your current mindset is.
Do you treat yourself with gentle and kind words? Or are you beating yourself up, telling yourself that you’re failing as a mother, or that you can’t do this? Even a positive person can have periods where they experience a negative mindset. The good news is that you are not stuck.
Falling into Negative Thought Patterns
Becoming a mother can be a monumental transition. Every transition can lead to a bit of doubt or uncertainty. Couple this with the events of the past two years and it's no wonder many of us are experiencing a shift in our mommy mindset. Being tired, worried, and unsure of yourself can create a shift in the way we speak to ourselves. We question whether we are doing the right things for our babies, whether they are going to grow up the right way, if their development is on track. We doubt ourselves and our ability to be what they need.
If we question and doubt ourselves enough, the conversation that we have with ourselves can turn negative. And we can become harsh on ourselves, even if we are doing everything right. These thoughts form patterns and patterns can be hard to break.
How to Reshape your Mommy Mindset for the New Year!
There is good news. If you’ve spotted a pattern to your thoughts and in the words you use to speak to yourself, you have already completed the first step in changing your mindset! And this is the tough one. It takes time. It takes listening into what you are thinking and saying to and about yourself.
Once you are listening, you can spot these negative thoughts, and start to replace them. Instead of “I can’t do this.” you can try saying something gentler like “I am doing this.” Eventually you might even get to “I am doing a good job at this.” But it’s a process.
When you start to doubt yourself and what you are able to do for your children, this is a great time to pause. Stop what you are doing. Pause that thought. And take stock of what you are doing. Take a look around. You might notice that yes, the laundry needs doing, the dishes need washing, and that feels icky and like you are being less than the perfect mother. But if you look at what you are doing, you’ll see that you are being there for your child. You’ll see that you are reassuring, and loving, and caring for them in a way that only you can as their mother.
Eventually, you’ll train yourself to see the positive rather than the negative.
When we start to listen to our thoughts, to see when and where they are happening, we can start to think about the cause. Are we upset with ourselves or feeling like we are failing our family? Are we embarrassed of situations that we might have handled differently? When we listen and look at these thoughts, and the things that spark them, we can learn why we are having these negative thoughts. That is where the real magic is because now we can start to change the conversation we have with ourselves as mothers, we can change our mommy mindset.
What Do You Want to Inspire More of in the New Year?
Could you benefit from peace with who you are as a mother? Could you use more gentility or care? These are the learnings that will come from examining your current mommy mindset, and help break those negative thought patterns, so that you can inspire or acquire a brighter more positive one.
This process takes time. It takes spending time with yourself, your thoughts, and on a deeper level, your feelings. It takes work. Listening in isn’t enough. Changing your mommy mindset means catching those negative thoughts, analyzing them, and replacing them with something else. You have the power to decide what that something else is. Only you do.